Surrender...

Surrender...

No matter how many times I've already done it, I have to do it again and again; and it never gets easier. Whether it's surrendering my time, my friends, my calling, my heart, my job; it doesn't matter, it hurts all the same.

God keeps bringing me to the event in Genesis 22 when He asks Abraham to "take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you..." So, Abraham obeys God and he and Isaac travel to the land that God told him so that he may offer Isaac to God. The response that caught my attention was "Here am I". This is what Abraham says to God when God calls for him and it's also what he says when Isaac calls for him. I read this "Here am I" and it really shows me that God is simply looking for people who are willing to confront Him and will answer when He calls on them. The willingness and attentiveness of Abraham really challenges me on whether I am standing at attention when God calls for me or speaks to me...

Another thing that struck me was Isaac was Abraham's son that God had promised years ago, even after Abraham's unfaithfulness and lack of trust in God, God still provided Isaac to Abraham and Sarah when they were 100 years old. Therefore, this sacrifice that God is asking Abraham to make is not only the hardest thing he is ever asked to do but it seems so illogical because God gave him this son in the first place, so why would God give him a son only to sacrifice years later?....

Well, here comes the beautiful part of the story. Abraham makes it to the top of the mountain with Isaac and puts him on the altar and is about to sacrifice his son, knife in hand; when an angel appears to Abraham and says "Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for not I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me." I love this verse, it reveals the whole purpose of God's command to Abraham, to see if Abraham truly fears Him and loves Him above all other things in the world. God then provided a ram for the offering and spared Isaac's life.

Finally, I read in Gen. 22:15-19 "And the angel of the Lord called to Abraham a second time from heaven and said, "By myself I have sworn, declares the Lord, because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you, and I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies, and in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice."

This is the beginning of God's promise to Abraham and His people. This is the beginning of a beautiful promise and plan for God's people that reveals His faithfulness and love . The Beginning of God's promise and blessing came from the obedience of Abraham; it came from the call to sacrifice the most important thing in his life. A call that he embraced because he knew that God was worthy of it, no matter how painful it was.

So why do we have to sacrifice and surrender these things to God over and over again?...Because God wants to know if we will say:
"God, I choose you above all other things... No matter how hard it hurts, because you are worthy of it all."

In the end it comes down to realizing that everything comes from God. If He chooses to put something in your life, then He can just as easily take it out. Nothing on this earth is ours, no time, no possession, no person. It all belongs to God. Why not surrender to Him, when in the end He has a beautiful promise to exchange in return for our obedience and fear?

Finally, I surrender.



"All of Me" - Jason Morant
On my face is where we meet
No disgrace is felt only this peace
Having lit this heart with Your burning kiss
You've become all I hope to never live without

In the stillness I know
There is not a thing You haven't done
To make me Your own
All of me

On my face I'm empty yet complete
I have no desire but Your heart to seek
So I'll stay until horizons reappear
And the light from Your love
Will chase away all my fears

In the stillness I know
There is not a thing You haven't done
To make me Your own
All of me all of me
In Your presence I know
It's Your love alone that covers all
My weakness and shame
All of me all of me

So I'll stay right here with You
Yes I'll stay until I disappear into You

I'm Taken: An Exclusive Relationship

I've had an interesting adjustment coming home: came from living in community with 40 other people in one hallway - to living in a house with three others (and two stories for us four to live in). I went from reading/studying the Bible 10 hours a day, mandatory worship, and intercession, etc. to church on sundays, college group on tuesdays and 30 min. studying every other day. It's been quite a huge adjustment. Some days I'm so happy to be home, other days I cry myself to sleep because I miss my friends in Montana. (I've even found myself missing our 3 hour lectures.) It has been a huge learning process.

I've really been challenged being home in my personal walk with God because it caused me to evaluate how much of my walk with God was being based off of the mandatory worship and studying as opposed to my personal quiet times. Thankfully, God has had so much grace on me and He has continued a huge passion in my heart to keep studying the Bible and spending time with HIm. I can't get enough of it!

All this to say...
I began to hang out with my friends and filled my time with fellowship (which isn't a bad thing) Except... my thoughts and time began to be consumed with my friends and family instead of God.

This morning God challenged me;
He told me: "sharis, I want you to stay home with me today". So, I obeyed him of course! I've been home all day just spending time with God, sitting in silence, being in the Word, playing my guitar and worshiping. The one thing He told me loud and clear was: "I want your whole heart, I want your attention, I want all of you. I am jealous for you." and all of a sudden, I realized that God was telling me to be home with Him because He wants my everything, my time, love, attention, and my thoughts. I began to realize how much I was consuming my life with people and not God. (don't get me wrong, we were created for both but there is a fine line between loving people the way God created us to and allowing them to become idols in our lives...let's just say i've been convicted of idolatry...) These words that He spoke to me revealed that He really is in pursuit of me and my heart. God really is pursuing me and a relationship with me. SO much so; that He asked me to put everything down today in order to spend time with Him. He really is "Jealous for me".

This goes along with something that He spoke to me on Tues. He revealed to me: "Sharis, you are afraid to love." and I was a bit perplexed at this because, well... I love everyone. I love GOd, I love people. I love to love. So I asked Him, "who am I afraid to Love" and He Said "yourself". It wasn't until today that I have been given a full understanding of what He meant... I avoid time with God and fill my time with people, because It's so hard for me to believe that the creator of all, the One, the "I Am", The Beginning and End, would love a sinner like me. I didn't want to accept His love because I was afraid it's not 'real' because I feel that I don't deserve it. Well, the reality is, I don't deserve it; none of us do. But if He is going to give it to me then why would I neglect that? Why would I choose to avoid that?

God Loves me, He rejoices over me, He dances over me. He likes me. Not because of anything I have done but simply because He created me, I am His masterpiece, I am His daughter, A royal priesthood. I am His and He is Mine.

He is Jealous for me, Oh how he loves us.

This beautifully exclusive Day with My King reveals the Beautifully exclusive relationship that He wants to have with all of us.

I am Taken.